Hidden Moments
by spring.stout
Summary: Shepard breaks down, Vega comes to the rescue. Shega, rated T for language and mild sexual reference. oneshot


**This scene takes place during the Citadel DLC party, right after Shepard gives Ashley and Vega permission to see each other.**

She walked off, missing the concerned look exchanged between them.

Walking into her room she locked the door before closing herself in the closet, burrowing deep into the darkness enshrouding the area under all the hanging clothes.

"Deep breaths Shepard," her body rocking back and forth as she dug her fingers through her hair. "Deep brea-", her voice cracked as her mind raced. _What is so wrong with wanting to be wanted? I love that man so much...so very much. But I could die tomorrow, I can't do that to someone_. Her heart constricted painfully as her nose clogged and tears escaped her eyes.

She'd been doing so good, pretending nothing he did bothered her on a personal level. It'd been nearly a month since she'd last broken down, locked in her bathroom on the Normandy. She knew it was wrong to hold it all in all the time, but with the fate of the whole universe resting on her slim shoulders she had to put a strong front on at all times. So she went about her days like nothing got to her while the whole time a tiny voice in her mind screamed about the injustice of her life, the total loss of her faith in anything personal. _Cant they see I'm only human, _a voice in her mind pleaded. _No__ your not Shepard,_ another voice snarled._ Y_our_ not allowed to be human. Your the friggin savior, you have to be Superman and She'rah all rolled in one body with a political genius greater than the council. No life for you, you signed it all away when you joined the military. 'Til death do you part- worst damn marriage ever_.

Her tears stopped as bitterness encased her heart, salty trails drying unheeded down her face. Banging her head into the wall behind her she grumbled, "If I live through this I am so retiring on a beach somewhere."

"Sounds like a plan, but what do you mean if?" Vega's voice floated into the darkness, startling her.

She signed, "I thought my door was locked."

She could hear the hangers sliding as he moved the clothes in search of her. "It was." Light hit her face causing her to shield her eyes from the sudden brightness. Concern lined his face as he leaned in close, cupping her tear stained face in his hand. "Dammit Shepard," his voice was gentle with concern. "What are you doing in here alone?"

She snorted as she let her head fall back into the wall again. "I am alone Vega, that's just the way of things."

The clothes parted more as he settled his massive body next to her. "What are you doing?"

Closing the clothes so they sat in the dark he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into him. "Don't you know Shepard? I'm joining the dark side." She eyed his form warily. "Uh-huh. Why?"

His hand absently massaged her scalp as he continued to hold her close. "Because your not alone. You've isolated yourself so much these last few months, it's like your not even here anymore. I-we, miss you. Your smiles, your laugh. That cocky grin you get when you win at cards." He felt her lips move in a small grin. "Why are you in here Shepard?"

"Relieving frustration."

She felt his chest bounce as he chuckled. "Relieving frustration? You are aware there are far more pleasurable means to do that than crying, right?"

Her mind briefly danced with images his words invoked before she shut it down as she leaned her body away from his. "I think you need to leave now Lieutenant."

Releasing a growl of frustration he grabbed her arm, forcefully pulling her out of the closet behind him. With a hand on each shoulder he pushed her back to the wall, absently aware of her fist clenching as he invaded her space. "What do I have to do to make you understand that you are not alone in this Jane? We all know what's at risk, we all feel the pressure building, and you can damn sure bet we all know how this may end." His breath shuddered as it caressed her ear. "Let me help you Jane, let us help each other- please." He trailed gentle kisses down her cheek before pulling away, looking her in the eyes. "Please."

She looked away, her heart pounding wildly as she grasped reasons to push him away. "What about Ashley?" Her eyes flickered in his direction as he signed. "We were trying to make you jealous."

"WHAT?" In her shock she absently grabbed the locket that hung around her neck.

Curiously he gently pride it from her and opened it, revealing a picture of them that they'd taken during her incarceration. They both had frosting smashed into their smiling faces from the cupcake fight they'd thrown during her birthday party. Anderson stood in the background holding his sides as he laughed.

"I always wondered what you held close to your heart. That's one of my favorite memories too..." His hand caressed her face. "Ashley knew I had feelings for you, she thought maybe if we made you jealous you'd finally admit the same. Instead you just...walked away." He frowned. "Why?"

"Maybe you should stop asking why to everything, you might not like the answer." Her arms crossed defensively.

"Just answer the damned question Shepard," He growled, invading her space again.

Her defiance lasted a minute before she finally snapped. "Fine!" She shouted. "You want to know WHY? Because I'm going to die Vega!" Her voice softened at his shocked face as she continued. "And if I distance myself from everyone before the end then less people will be hurt by my passing."

His throat bobbed as he repeatedly tried to form words. "You seem pretty convinced for some reason. Again, why?"

She glanced away from him, watching the hot tub bubble through the open bathroom door. _Oh that sounds good_, she thought, rubbing her arm absently. "This war has cost me so much already James. So many friends lost. Family. All gone...I have no reason to come back."

"Bullshit." She glared at his vulgarity. "You have me." His lips crashed on hers, passion overtaking them.

Several weeks later Vega sat by Shepard's hospital bed, staring at her heavily bandaged face as he held her hand tightly to his cheek, unshed tears making his eyes shine brightly with happiness.

"You came back to me," his voice broke.

"I had a pretty good reason," she smiled lightly.

He kissed the hand he held. "I love you so much Jane, I have for a long time."

"I love you too James. I think nows as good a time as any to retire. Want to join me?"

"Always."


End file.
